funky as james browns underpants

whoa

Ok well the week of boredom ended with a lot of spiderman playing.

Kate returned all was/is good, Sebastian looks bigger and he has learned many new things. Like standing by himself.

My friend Sean, I thought I had written him off this year, I was reminded though that he actually cares about me AND my family and that is something. That he takes the time to say more than 'hi' to Kate and gladly plays with my son, instead of stating that I am a 'dad' now and disappearing. (another nigel item there).

Kate complains a lot that she has no friends. I mean I know she means more flesh and blood that she can go out with etc.... but she has a bigger life than I do in that she has a large group of people she converses with regularily and people in Vancouver (where we are now moving) that she is flesh and blood friends with. I know that her friends will be my friends soon but.... it never replaces that feeling that you didn't develop those relationships the way you did with the people you called friends. People like Nigel and Sean and Bart.

I write this little blog on and off right now, and I do it mainly to get things off my mind or to get past boredom, either way the only people who read or respond to me are ads and that seems really sad. Even more sad that I would never direct a friend to read this...... ?

I don't know, I read today that Kate has a longing to figure out what it is she does to contribute to this life and to make the lives of other people better. I have a longing to figure out what? I don't know, I don't have a clue, my life seems pretty empty when I think about it and I think that I should want more from it but I just seem to feel unhappily content.

I feel rarely happy, and rarely sad. I get excited about small stupid things and troubled over the same. Big stuff is small to me and small stuff is big. Maybe I need to do a bunch of small insignificant things to make myself feel better about life. However..... that seems stupid.

Well now that I am just rambling on about what seems to be nothing I think I will stop writting about this, go back to standing around waiting for my level set software push to come from Toronto and dream about things that have no meaning to me.....

if one could change their vision.... I would make mine black and white, then everything would be as mundane as I feel I am.