So tonight I do my last conversion for TD Bank. This was supposed to be a nice exit, only 12 machines and one server. A Single Cash Dispencer and only one network printer.....
Instead my eye is twitching even as I write this with rage.
Some evil mother fuckers have sent me 2 brand new installers and one experienced one I hate, and to top it off the guy running my software downloads from Toronto has fallen asleep at his pc. So with that I lose about 45minutes with trying to wake his lame ass up.
ugh.... why
28 Nov 2005
21 Nov 2005
more
I posted that and then thought a little about the fact that I feel like I can never get anything I want to get done, done without asking for permission to do what I want to do. I want to go for a run but I feel I can't. I want to go for a walk and clear my thoughts but I feel I can't. I want to just go out and sit in the yard but feel I can't. I don't blame anyone for this, I am sure I could do it all, but I feel that I just can't. What is that?
funky as james browns underpants
whoa
Ok well the week of boredom ended with a lot of spiderman playing.
Kate returned all was/is good, Sebastian looks bigger and he has learned many new things. Like standing by himself.
My friend Sean, I thought I had written him off this year, I was reminded though that he actually cares about me AND my family and that is something. That he takes the time to say more than 'hi' to Kate and gladly plays with my son, instead of stating that I am a 'dad' now and disappearing. (another nigel item there).
Kate complains a lot that she has no friends. I mean I know she means more flesh and blood that she can go out with etc.... but she has a bigger life than I do in that she has a large group of people she converses with regularily and people in Vancouver (where we are now moving) that she is flesh and blood friends with. I know that her friends will be my friends soon but.... it never replaces that feeling that you didn't develop those relationships the way you did with the people you called friends. People like Nigel and Sean and Bart.
I write this little blog on and off right now, and I do it mainly to get things off my mind or to get past boredom, either way the only people who read or respond to me are ads and that seems really sad. Even more sad that I would never direct a friend to read this...... ?
I don't know, I read today that Kate has a longing to figure out what it is she does to contribute to this life and to make the lives of other people better. I have a longing to figure out what? I don't know, I don't have a clue, my life seems pretty empty when I think about it and I think that I should want more from it but I just seem to feel unhappily content.
I feel rarely happy, and rarely sad. I get excited about small stupid things and troubled over the same. Big stuff is small to me and small stuff is big. Maybe I need to do a bunch of small insignificant things to make myself feel better about life. However..... that seems stupid.
Well now that I am just rambling on about what seems to be nothing I think I will stop writting about this, go back to standing around waiting for my level set software push to come from Toronto and dream about things that have no meaning to me.....
if one could change their vision.... I would make mine black and white, then everything would be as mundane as I feel I am.
Ok well the week of boredom ended with a lot of spiderman playing.
Kate returned all was/is good, Sebastian looks bigger and he has learned many new things. Like standing by himself.
My friend Sean, I thought I had written him off this year, I was reminded though that he actually cares about me AND my family and that is something. That he takes the time to say more than 'hi' to Kate and gladly plays with my son, instead of stating that I am a 'dad' now and disappearing. (another nigel item there).
Kate complains a lot that she has no friends. I mean I know she means more flesh and blood that she can go out with etc.... but she has a bigger life than I do in that she has a large group of people she converses with regularily and people in Vancouver (where we are now moving) that she is flesh and blood friends with. I know that her friends will be my friends soon but.... it never replaces that feeling that you didn't develop those relationships the way you did with the people you called friends. People like Nigel and Sean and Bart.
I write this little blog on and off right now, and I do it mainly to get things off my mind or to get past boredom, either way the only people who read or respond to me are ads and that seems really sad. Even more sad that I would never direct a friend to read this...... ?
I don't know, I read today that Kate has a longing to figure out what it is she does to contribute to this life and to make the lives of other people better. I have a longing to figure out what? I don't know, I don't have a clue, my life seems pretty empty when I think about it and I think that I should want more from it but I just seem to feel unhappily content.
I feel rarely happy, and rarely sad. I get excited about small stupid things and troubled over the same. Big stuff is small to me and small stuff is big. Maybe I need to do a bunch of small insignificant things to make myself feel better about life. However..... that seems stupid.
Well now that I am just rambling on about what seems to be nothing I think I will stop writting about this, go back to standing around waiting for my level set software push to come from Toronto and dream about things that have no meaning to me.....
if one could change their vision.... I would make mine black and white, then everything would be as mundane as I feel I am.
10 Nov 2005
Boris, this is Vodka....
So there's this beer I discovered on a camping trip and I spent my last few bucks on it today. It's really good stuff. We had a bunch of lunchbox orange juice boxes so I mixed up a few screwdrivers to go along with it.
It's amazing how boredom will lead to drinking so easily.
Well anyway Kate and Sebastian have been gone for 1 whole day and I am climbing the walls with nothing to do. I hooked up my turntables tonight and played some house music, could explain why everything sounds like ringing. It was fun I haven't played since like I dunno.... July? shit.
Well anyway I was all like 'I'm gonna clean up the house and make it so that I have nothing to do....' thinking my usual 'get stuff done so you have time to relax' way and it backfired.
nothing to do = nothing to do.
bah
It's amazing how boredom will lead to drinking so easily.
Well anyway Kate and Sebastian have been gone for 1 whole day and I am climbing the walls with nothing to do. I hooked up my turntables tonight and played some house music, could explain why everything sounds like ringing. It was fun I haven't played since like I dunno.... July? shit.
Well anyway I was all like 'I'm gonna clean up the house and make it so that I have nothing to do....' thinking my usual 'get stuff done so you have time to relax' way and it backfired.
nothing to do = nothing to do.
bah
8 Nov 2005
One Week
Well tomorrow morning Kate is leaving for Vancouver for a Week long visit and she's taking Sebastian with her. So once again I get both the freedom of being by myself and sleeping in and without having to change diapers but at the same time I will be missing my boy tremendously.
Sux0rs
He (Sebastian) has been learning new things hand over fist lately. how to sit up and how to stand and how to throw cookie. It's amazing to watch a human go through this development about how he learns all these common place things but to both him and us it's just..... nothing less than amazing. It makes learning a new thing now look pretty easy.
Noise noise noise, IBM sucking me dry. Sent today to do a 1.5 hour asset collection from a branch early in my project. Should have been done then, I am pretty sure I explained it all to those guys. Well no...
Tons of boring serial numbers and asset tags filling my head as I painfully re-take the information from 65 machines, monitors and printers. bleh. 6 hours later....
Did I mention that I got my how to banjo dvd? and my tuner... I think I will try that shiz out while mah babies are gone. Should be good to annoy the heck outta upstairs.
So I have been thinking about this new house and the 'party room garage' and how nice it will be to have a place to go and watch a theatre movie whenever.... and be able to just relax. This place we are in right now is SO cramped I can't even think without bumping in to something.
yeah I am tired of calgary.
Sux0rs
He (Sebastian) has been learning new things hand over fist lately. how to sit up and how to stand and how to throw cookie. It's amazing to watch a human go through this development about how he learns all these common place things but to both him and us it's just..... nothing less than amazing. It makes learning a new thing now look pretty easy.
Noise noise noise, IBM sucking me dry. Sent today to do a 1.5 hour asset collection from a branch early in my project. Should have been done then, I am pretty sure I explained it all to those guys. Well no...
Tons of boring serial numbers and asset tags filling my head as I painfully re-take the information from 65 machines, monitors and printers. bleh. 6 hours later....
Did I mention that I got my how to banjo dvd? and my tuner... I think I will try that shiz out while mah babies are gone. Should be good to annoy the heck outta upstairs.
So I have been thinking about this new house and the 'party room garage' and how nice it will be to have a place to go and watch a theatre movie whenever.... and be able to just relax. This place we are in right now is SO cramped I can't even think without bumping in to something.
yeah I am tired of calgary.
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