What is going on?

Kate is currently listening to a podcast about sex education. It's called the midwest teen sex show. They are currently going over the names for jerkin yer gerkin and even have advice about not putting your penis in to anything that can get in to your penis or how to tell if you are masturbating too much by how much time you have left to masturbate......What to do if your mom catches you?

1. Ask her to help you finish.
2. Say " Oh, I thought you were Dad.
3. Blame it on the media.

And one woman... " I realized when I was 14 if I wanted to have kids I better start having sex. Oh is that mayonnaise on my chest or are we done already?"

Somewhere over the rainbow

The first task is to find the rainbow. The second to discover what does actually exist on the other side if it. The rainbow in this particular case is the redevelopment of people toward a new enlightenment. There have been a number of major turn around points in the history of modern Earth. The Agricultural Revolution, The industrial Revolution, The Space Age, The computerization of our lives, faster information - less effort. A new time is at hand.

Which way will this time go though? No one can label it yet because it hasn't happened and historians haven't had enough time to sit about and brainstorm a good name. I propose two different names for this revolution:

The Wakeup
The Demise

They are both pretty straightforward, and really the whole lesson is right there in the title. We have options facing us each day to either step up and do something small [ repeatedly ] daily to further our time on this Earth or to ignore what is so obviously happening around us and chalk it up to..... well whatever it is we want to believe it is.

I've been reading about some of the small things that seem so insignificant that can do so much for our lives, the lives of others, our economy and our world. Things that are simple and everyone knows... like energy saving bulbs. Things that are not quite so common like throwing your gum in the trash instead of the street.

A small factoid: In the UK it costs 37p for a pack of gum. It costs (on average) 15p to clean up that gum. The UK spends 150Million on this cleaning. This money would fund 3 hospitals or 8,500 teachers salaries. It sometimes isn't quite so obvious what we are costing ourselves.

Anyway, I think it's time to retire and watch a little Mystery Science Theatre 3000 with Kate and Rigby, after I go put Sebastian's covers on that is.

The Reopening

Well obviously we are back in public domain here. I (also obviously) changed my blog a little bit.

So after a meeting between sites today it seems that someone is going to have to come on down and join our site but no one is really interested in doing that. So we'll see where that goes. Hopefully whoever does come doesn't come forced since that will probably just mean that they will be bitter and frustrated.

I know that my studio is better for me, it's a style of working that I enjoy and the environment it exactly what I have always wanted. On the other hand the other studio has a lot to be desired. There is a larger sense of community, there are more opportunities for learning and information sharing and as it is the main office for us there is more exposure to the powers that be. I can see liking both options here but I wouldn't *want* to work at the other. I need to though.

Now. Props where Props be due. Kate; thank you for getting my header fixed.

What Happened?

Look up the term Dooced on the internet and you can get an idea.

Dodged but I will have some new ground rules here in Banaspace.

For the ones affected:

I will apologize. Not for the things that I said, because they were my honest feelings and that is all. However I am truly sorry for the ramifications of writing those things. I did not consider what this would mean to other people when they read it and I also didn't consider what it would mean to our community of people.

To ease this all out I have gone through and edited my entire blog to reflect the new ground rules.

Let's continue on.

The Best

On looking for the correct terms for my last post I came across a "Best Of Craigslist" which made me nearly bust my guts.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/van/182234107.html

The last *edit*

Well it's morning.... ask a toddler what Daylight savings time is.

Sebastian decided that morning started at 5Am today, I found out quickly that it was in fact 4Am and coaxed him back to bed. We got 2 more hours and got up at 6. He is now chomping on ice and playing with Lego. I on the other hand am trying to wake myself up as I have been having trouble getting up to operating speed lately. I don't really think it's due to Rigby being around as I have been having this problem for a while now. ( About a month or so )

It's really hard though, I feel like my head weighs a ton and my eyes hurt to be open. I fall asleep sitting up or standing or whatever for a few seconds regularly and even coffee doesn't seem to jump me up. I get going by about 8:30 / 9Am and feel fine after that. I have also been realy easily falling asleep while sitting at night. I have fallen asleep during our movies the last three nights for sure. When Kate and I met I was almost narcoleptic ( I just fell asleep while trying to decide if narcoleptic was the sleep thing or the dead people thing ) Then Sebastian came over, I changed his diaper and we cuddled on the chair at which point I fell asleep again.

Maybe there is something wrong there.....

Rigby and Kate are both doing well now. Kate has been out and about and has been fine with it. Ribgy seems to enjoy the time regardless of where she is. ( Ok Seriously it just happened again ) Sebastian is coping better with the new one around I think. He seems to be fully aware of what she is, who she is and the last part is the (asleep while thinking) wait for him to accept her fully. He likes to kiss her, hold her and helps us tell her that "It's ok Rigby" when she cries. So I don't think it will take long at all until he never remembers the time when she wasn't here.

Arrgh, I seriously want this to stop.

**SO I just read through this post and I wanted to clarify a few things here and there. I did keep falling asleep while writing this post and it was frustrating because I obviously lost my train of thought a few times there. "Sebastian coming over and getting his diaper changed" is what actually happened after I woke up when I fell asleep thinking about the differences between Narcoleptics and Necrophiliacs. I also seem to remember the two mincing together in my head for a moments and I was thinking people who fall asleep randomly while fucking dead people..... man that's messed up.

So long Caio

So Caio came by tonight to visit, meet Rigby and explain what the hell was up with the "Caio has resigned" email that I got today. It's true, Caio is resigned and that's that. I was putting Sebastian to bed after he left and thinking to myself about what that means to me. I mean... how many posts in my archives contain something about how I hated this or that about Caio's ways. Mostly the singing. I know Caio read them and he still went about his business of arguing with me over trivial things, grilling me for information over everything and despising everything I brought up. Y'know... like eating.

Caio once (probably more than once) told me how he hates eating. He considers it a chore, a bore and basically a pain in his ass. He wished that you either didn't have to eat or could ingest some sort of "super pill" that could satisfy all your needs. Personally, liking eating and liking food I think he's crazy. These little things were all around and usually contrary to what I thought was usual or normal. They were things I complained about and things that I figured drove me a little crazy at work.

I do however realize that all these things are and were just things. That the personality traits that Caio has exhibited are only one part of his being and that the more importantly, he is a good, caring individual and someone whom I could trust. I realize that while I might have secretly prayed for the time that Caio was gone from EA and " out of my hair " I'm now pretty sad that he's out of there.

So, since I am sure that you will read this man. Arguments and quibbles aside.... this sucks.

The Aftermath

Well it's been a little over a two days now since Rigby was born. Her *real* name is Lilian Rigby Forsyth and she is named for my Grandmother of my Mothers side. Lilian Appleby. Although I have no memory of her, every image I have ever seen paints a picture of someone compassionate, caring and maternal. My Grandfather was someone who cared a great deal about me, and he was a very good role model for me as he ( Possibly due to my youth ) seemed to be an honest, kind and strong man. Sebastian ( Arthur DeWolfe Forsyth ) gained my Grandfathers name as well as Kate's Grandfathers.

Lilian seems to be a good soul, Sebastian seemed to be a return visitor when he was born and I somehow get the sense that she is also here with age behind her. They both have the same warmth to them. Of course I am their Father and I would totally understand the criticism that I feel their warmth because of this fact but at the same time I have only felt like this toward a small handful of people in my life and generally speaking they were the kindest and most heartwarming individuals I have known.

Gordon came by yesterday and remarked how much he likes the name Lilian and how it was a good old fashioned name. He did something very similar with Sebastian and some how it feels like a comment on this idea of them both being 'old souls'. Again, criticism aside, I do like the feeling that my children are simply beings embarking on the next round of their existence and that we [ the ones who are learned ] get to help them remember the things they once knew.

So, welcome back.

The Arrival

I will make this more detailed later but..... We had a daughter last night at 9pm. Kate had a 7 hour labour start to finish and Rigby is gorgeous.

A Trip to the Beach

Well, Kate is now term +6 so we are still waiting on this baby to decide to come out. This morning after Sebastian convinced me to get out of bed we went to the living room to have some breakfast. I decided, after seeing this weird thing thing I'm told is called "The Sun", that we needed to hit the beach. We took out the RC Boat that my parents gave Sebastian and sent it for a spin about in the waves. It doesn't go very fast which makes it a little boring but it is still pretty fun.

Then Sebastian and I walked down to the Pier and looked underneath for sea creatures. We saw Crabs and Star Fish and Fish Fish. Sebastian claims he spotted at least 2 slippery fish and an octopus under there as well but I'm sceptical. We left Kate to sit on some driftwood to knit her new hat for the baby.

There was also a great big Heron hanging out by the pier who would swoop down and scoop some fish out of the water every so often.

After all this we walked back along the beach throwing stones in to the water. It was really relaxing. The beach was quiet and the sun was out so it was nice and warm with a light autumn chill and the ocean was nicely behaving itself.

Sebastian loves throwing rocks in to the water, I think mostly for the splash. He discovered today that you can throw a handful of dirt and get multiple splashes. So needless to say he got a little muddy for a little while.

After, we walked down to where Kate was sitting we got together an took a little family photo.

Aren't we just so bloody cute?

Lastly Kate and I took a few pictures of her belly before this baby comes out (COME OUT DAMN YOU) and we caught the good luck bug. A little lady bug came by and did a walkabout on Kate's tummy.


I guess that lady bugs are the bearers of good luck. So hopefully something joyful will happen. :)

mmm ascii

       d8888                   888        
    d88888                   888        
   d88P888                   888        
  d88P 888 88888b.  88888b.  888  .d88b.
 d88P  888 888 "88b 888 "88b 888 d8P  Y8b
d88P   888 888  888 888  888 888 88888888
d8888888888 888 d88P 888 d88P 888 Y8b.   
d88P     888 88888P"  88888P"  888  "Y8888
           888      888                 
           888      888                 
           888      888 

Total Molecular Inversion

Well. We're still waiting on the baby to make up it's mind and come one out. I'm off work and we've been hanging out watching a ton of movies lately. Now out of that I've seen a pretty good movie ( V for Vendetta ) and a horrible movie ( Nacho Libre ) and a bunch of mediocre stuff. We saw the first part of Good Night and Good Luck but have not yet finished it.

Sebastian seems to be loving having me home all day. I know Kate is. I'm enjoying it also, I mean I was just writing about how I wanted more time to spend with Seb and to play with him more and here it is. Once the new one is born I am sure that this build up of play and bonding will serve us well.

I decided to play around and build up what I would love to see purchased for the Audio team and It team in Mac form. The bill is about 248K. It's all pure sweetness though. I mean, how could you go wrong with 20TB of data storage and a buttload of 23" dual monitored Mac Pro 8 cores? and a Server with 32GB's of ram... I mean COME ON!! I have requested that a copy of Leopard is purchased for me so that I can begin checking it out before people start asking me questions about it. With any luck that will be at my desk when I come back... nudge nudge. I don't actually think that the person I have asked to purchase it reads my blog but hey, it's worth a shot.

We are currently listening to an OOOOOOOO0o0o0o0o0LD Rave style Trance mix that I made. This is actually the first mix I ever made and it's also the first gift I ever gave Kate. Romantic huh? Hey baby! Have a Rave Trance Mix. Oh yeah... you know you want it. unce unce unce unce unce unce unce bwaaa ba buhn unce unce unce unce.

She says she listened to it all the time. "He made it... It's beauoootifull"

Kate is also knitting a set of booties for the new baby next to me right now. They look like they'll be very cute (according to the picture) right now though they are just a solid rectangle of yarn.

We should get some glowsticks!

Just Do It Already

We want a baby. Hurry up.

Against All Odds

Man vs Netboot with a capital B.

It may appear the there has been a lot of 'Vs' going on in my life lately but that's only because I have been fighting some epic battles against myself. This one is no exception.

I've been trying to get a similar system to our PXE booting for Windows machines going at work for the Mac's. Netboot is built in to the OS X server and is relatively easy to setup. The issue is that it is offered on local subnets only. Our Network Guru (NG) was working with me to try and get the system to work across subnets with some router adjustments to allow for the BSDP process, I was trying to get the image put together and neither of us was having much luck at first.

NG got the network side running and was forwarding packets to my server but there was still no dice in the boot process. He captured some data of the boot process and watched traffic going between the two units. Much to my dismay he couldn't see anything wrong with the data going back and forth other than the fact that it simply stopped after a short time.

Well, I then worked on my end. I created new images from different machines and made sure that I had a solid creation process going on. No Hiccups there. I also tried removing my local switch from my test server, putting the server and client together on a switch within the network and putting them on a Dlink router completely isolated from the network. When this last environment did not produce a boot I came to the conclusion that it was not a network problem. I thought long and hard about what the issue could possibly be...

I checked the whole system over and over... I made a new image (again), I redid the configuration of the Netboot server (again) I also made sure that there were Netinstall and Netboot packages and that if I OPTION booted my Mac I could see an image available. Everything was pointing to A-Ok but still... I could not boot the image. It would see the server, start loading the image and then Kernel Panic. Everytime.

I worked on this late in to last night with no luck and again this morning. I finally decided to start at the most basic level. Making sure that I had not screwed this up in any way. That's when I saw it... In order to load the images, you need a specific set of folders setup in the /Library level.

/Library/NetBoot/NetBootSP0

My problem, and the only problem in getting those dang images to load... a Capital B.

I had written it out /Library/Netboot/NetBootSP0

I changed the B and tried again... Instant success. I'm glad I figured it out but I'm so annoyed that I was temporarily beaten by a lowercase letter.

Anyways, the final issue of booting this image across the 5 subnets I have and then to a whole other studio was still present. Bombich provided an answer to that in a simple little application. Now both studios can boot various install and NetBoot images from my server with ease. I am so Happy.

Now, after the baby comes ( 6 Days ) I can go back to work and see if I can get a dual boot system working on this.

I'll make sure to get a fresh bottle of Advil.

11

There are 11 days left till Kate's due date. We got rid of our dresser and cabinet in the bedroom today in preparation for new shelving coming from my Parents during their visit tomorrow. They are coming over from the island for a day trip and we are going to be hitting up IKEA and then dinner with Kate's family at The Vancouver Club. Gordon has invited all of us out to the event and it should be fun.

I look down at the private pool and exercise areas of the club from work and have always though it looked pretty swanky, what with it's Valet parking and all. So a buffet dinner in a suit should be an interesting experience for sure.

As we near the time of the 4 (new baby) Sebastian is getting away from us a little. I notice that we are spending less time doing his stuff and more time doing... well nothing really. WE are eating crap, feeling like crap, the house smells like crap and all kinda behaving like crap. Kate and Sebastian have been having some issues this week but Kate is also learning from this book she picked up some great techniques for handling Sebastian's behaviour. All in all I think that she is doing great with him and herself. I on the other hand need some training and I also need to get back to playing with him. I have been kinda neglectful of late and it's driving me a little batty when I do spend time on his level. I feel I am out of tune and I just expect him to play by my rules and do the things he's always done. This is obviously not the case and I end up feeling frustrated and exhausted.

I think the combinations of Eating better, reading anything to exercise my mind and playing with him instead of playing to kill the time before bed will really help us to restrengthen our bond and connect again in the way we used to.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like we are at odds. We both still play together, he listens to me and helps me and I listen to his requests and feelings and try to respond in a kind, caring and constructive way. I know that we both still have immense love for each other and that it the most important thing. He is only 2.5 and I'm still Dad and he is still my boy and that is what it is... fantastic.

We hit the coffee shop, beach and playground this morning and had a great time doing each. He was pleasant and polite to the coffee lady, fun and interesting at the beach and also very inquisitive and understanding. He was looking for crabs and found a crab leg. He asked what happened to the rest of it. I pointed out to a heron standing in the shallows. I told him that one of those birds probably ate the crab. That some animals eat other animals as part of nature. He seemed to think about it for a second, a little distressed but with a look of understanding. Next thing I knew we were off to look at a big rock a few feet away.

After we hit up a school playground near Gordon's new house and had some quick play. He was counting off all of the numbers on the hopscotch and other games drawn all over the inner courtyard of the playground. Then we played on the grounds and took the rain soaked slide once before leaving. It was honestly (especially the beach) some of the best fun I have had in a while. I don't remember the last time he and I just went out and did something that wasn't (again) to kill time.

CV of Andrew Forsyth

I've made a side blog that is just a hosting page for my CV (Resume).

On other notes... 18 days left!!! dear Dog this is getting close. We went shopping today for the last of what we need for the birth. New (disposable) sheets, towels, cloths, blankets etc etc etc... A home birth means we need to get a lot of stuff together to handle everything that the hospital usually would. Kate is also totally ready to get this baby born.

A great push towards that was the discovery that my landlord (who lives upstairs with his wife and occasionally many grandchildren and sons) is DOUBLE THUMBS UP for us having the baby born at home. He kinda trapped me in to telling him that we were doing that and then when I revealed the "awful truth" he was excited and offered to help in anyway at any time of day, cook for us, volunteer his wife and sons, and told me to "take care of Kate and pay rent whenever". wow.

I am amazed that they were so open to the idea but I couldn't be happier. We were pretty scared that Kate would have to be quiet, that they would call the cops on the noise, that something something something... evict us... etc. So it's a great load off our mind.

Teacher for a day

Well tomorrow morning I have to pull out a server, setup my classroom and teach server stuff. He's going to be my backup while I am gone for new baby so I need to let him know how to do that.... So I need to teach him all the ins and outs of server manager, workgroup manager and etc etc etc.... and that in a day. This time he better not fall asleep.

New Baby

I swear Kate's belly is doing that rumbly noise like it's hungry.... but I know she isn't hungry. It's like the baby wants out..... 22Days...

The Laundry Alternative

In our continued effort to Green up our lives we have now eliminated the laundromat. Which for lack of better words F*&$in rocks. How you may ask did we do this thing? Well, through a bit of determination and a small amount of work and time we should be able to wash all of our diapers (cloth) and our clothes from the day at the end of everyday here at home in about 15 minutes.

We got a portable washer and a portable spin dryer. The washer is a hand crank unit that takes about 3-4 Quarts of water and a tablespoon of soap to do a load of laundry (about 4-5 pounds of clothes) and then 3 quarts for the rinse. All in all a good sight less than a conventional washer and it uses no electricity. After that the centrifugal spin dryer uses only the spinning to eject water from the clothes and no heat. It lasts for a max 5 minutes as seems to work on most of what we have washed thus far in about 2-3 minutes. The clothes come out slightly damp and we hang them to dry in the hallway clothes line.

This whole setup was part of a gift from my parents for the new baby. They also bought our entire cloth diapering setup for the new baby, again... this rocks. We are very happy to be cloth diapering baby #2 from the start and with every thing we need in abundance.

25 More days left.

Got till it's gone....

Basically my parents have sold their house in Edmonton. The house I grew up in, the house my brother grew up in, the only "home" I have ever known. My brother is pretty broken up over it and I am too, to a slightly lesser extent. I miss the place and I know I will for a while but, I am so nomadic and have moved soooo much that the one place that is home, has never been as important. I'd like to use a quote from Garden State to fill this post.

"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore…all of the sudden even though you have some place to put your shit, that idea of home is gone…or maybe its like this rite of passage…you will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, for your kids, for the family you start. It’s like a cycle or something. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place."

Where do they come from?

So I was looking at the tracking reports for my blog tonight and thought WOW where do all these people come from? I see that tons of people get to me by searching for something that has NOTHING to do with me. Like Pro Tools 7.4 (that added an extra 10 hits right there) or some part of a movie quote that I have used.

So I have to say to everyone that comes here and possibly even stays here.... Add a comment somewhere, a shout out to say you were here from there and China... where you at?

This is Septembers countries vs my blog.

United States of America	39.19 %
Canada	25.68 %
United Kingdom	8.11 %
Brazil	4.05 %
Czech Republic	2.70 %
Other	20.27 %

Country	Visits	%	Trend %
United States of America	29	39.19 %	+59.6%
Canada	19	25.68 %	-52.8%
United Kingdom	6	8.11 %	+54.1%
Brazil	3	4.05 %	+131.1%
France	2	2.70 %
Norway	2	2.70 %
Czech Republic	2	2.70 %
Ukraine	1	1.35 %
Turkey	1	1.35 %

Sweden	1	1.35 %
Poland	1	1.35 %	-23.0%
Philippines	1	1.35 %
Republic of Korea	1	1.35 %	-23.0%
Australia	1	1.35 %	-61.5%
Israel	1	1.35 %
Germany	1	1.35 %	-23.0%
United Arab Emirates	1	1.35 %
Belgium	1	1.35 %

Baby Shower Today

Well Kristi, Shannon and Corey with the help of others threw us a baby shower today at the Coal Harbour Coop. It was a blast. I got to see people and kids I have not seen for a while, eat some chow and play in the park outside.

We got some very nice gifts from the folks who came out and even though they are all small things (like onesie's) they are just the things we need and are also just the things I needed to make upcoming baby much more real.

It's neat to think about the new baby coming along but when I really stop and think.... it's 31 days away.... I have a preschooler who still doesn't sleep through the night and who takes up to an hour to put to sleep some days. Those small things are the ones where I go.. whoa. Are we really ready for this? We're really doing this? Jeeze.

I am the excited.

I just found this awesome little application through the Apple Software site, called Screen Recycler. This app for Mac basically allows you to use any other Mac with a monitor attached as a second, third, forth or so on monitor for your own. Why buy another monitor when you can simply annex your neighbours computer!?

Awesome.

Second highest on my OMG that's sweet list was the application to allow you to use any (well almost any) application with your mac remote. There were two there but I think this one seemed to have the nicest interface. This one is called Mira.

Also Awesome.

Third highest is iRAPP. Now this is sweetness in a dmg. iRAPP allows you to use your mac from a PC. It runs your Mac fully, access all programs, all files and folders even have you system bar at the top of your XP session. Plus using it multiple users can use the same Mac or you can make your Mac a terminal server. How hot is this? and it's shareware. BOOYASHAKA!!

Lastly is this application called Passenger which allows non administrative persons (such as a help desk or what not) to add user accounts and do password creation with your OS X server without having to access the server. It's a nice utility I look forward to handing out at work.

So if you are on a Mac and are not familiar with this stuff, I would suggest checking it out.

A Week Without

Without Kate and without Sebastian. It was a long boring stretch without any real interaction with anyone. I painted Sebastian's room, did a whole bunch of this and that around the house, stayed late at my work a few days and saw a couple of friends for Beer and Cake on Friday.

I made this....

Man / Woman vs Toddler / New Bed

OH - MY - GOD!

6 hours of hardcore battle against the toddler loft bed of doom!

Well in the end the Man / Woman team won out over the Toddler and his new bed..... sorta. The bed is built and it is awesome.... however the toddler proclaimed " I DON'T LIKE THIS!!! WANT TO SLEEP BIG BED!!! " and lo... here we are, toddler in between us while we both write in our respective blogs about this epic battle.

Sebastian was amazing all day long, with all the shopping, running around and change of panning we did. He came through it like a trooper and in the end his crazy 9pm to 11pm run around and non stop talking while trying to put the last of the bed together was really not all that bad.

The bed, which we got free is a loft bed and has a nice little ladder up to it... and a SLIDE to get down!! Can you believe it?! Now we just have to move everything else in the room to make space for it.

Loss of control...

My child is infuriating. Why? Because he is no longer under my control. He is a follower who will obey the things I ask of him and I can always overpower him but he is also his own person able to tell us the things he likes and dislikes. He is able to assert himself both physically and verbally and he knows how to both woo and frustrate his parents. He also hits and it drives me nuts, I want to grab him and pull him away and tell him loudly he's doing things wrong and sometimes, just sometimes, when he hits *ME* I want to whack him.

The obvious issue here is that I can not do things like that. I can not hit my child, I can not be forceful over a child I want to instill gentle qualities in and I can not control him. Instead I know that I now have the arduous task of guiding him. I only say arduous because it's hard for me or Kate to do, it's hard to take a person with raging emotions and ideas that move more rapidly than they are explained. A person who can reduce to screaming and tears and bashing his head over the fact that you are offering him EXACTLY what he wants. It's hard to take that person and guide them to all the emotions and values that you want them to have while controlling all of the negative values you do not want them to be party to in yourself.

I think that in my mind I would relate it to trying to be a bar star while stopping a friend from drinking. It's something that you just can not do and be successful at it.

What does this mean to me? What does this mean for Kate? More importantly what does this mean for our dealings with Sebastian? I think it means that the qualities we are shooting to instill - completely relies on us to model and consistently display the qualities ourselves. This is a lot like being a good manager or lead. You need to model what you would want your team to look like.

This is a problem. Both of us are ruled by our emotions in so many ways.... we are going to have to change ourselves to change our son. I thought I would have seen this... those parents. Y'know the ones who seems almost hoity toity and are really "clean" people, not swearing in conversation (even without their kids around), modeling clean lives are the ones who I almost think have the kids who have those high quality values. But I could be wrong... It could be that those people really are just jerks and their kids are only good because they beat them... I'll never really know. In the end, I know that I need to make changes in me to adjust to a better work environment. Things like swearing in conversation. With luck those changes in me will start to help me mold Sebastian as well.

If you read this you really should read what my wife Kate goes through. She stays at home with Sebastian. Something that I have stated I would love to do but secretly know that I would do a horrible job by comparison. She deals with his sweetness and his unholy jerkiness day in and day out and not only tries to model good behavior and demeanor but, much to her own discredit, does a really really good job at it.

Advancements

Today my second server became a link aggregated 2GB/s network unit. It joins the first and is now the second server in EA using this connection type. So far my users are only achieving 70mb/s on the primary unit so I think they have some overhead.

RAM on the other hand might need to be increased as now that they can use so many other things [ Like streaming video ] they are using a lot more RAM on the unit. 3GBs out of 4 were being used most of today so I may have to order more.

I asked today for a new training class from both the infrastructure manager and from the COO of my studio. I figure that two chances are better than one. The only problem with this is that I *JUST* realized the course is in Calgary and NOT Vancouver as I originally stated. BLARG!

So now I either have to see if I can be sent to Calgary for 5 days or wait about until Vancouver decides to host the class. [ Which won't be until next year now ]

Well we'll see where I end up. ** I just talked to Kate and she doesn't want me going so close to her due date so I guess I wait till next quarter**

I also talked with my network guy today about the traffic that would occur if I added an Xgrid system to my work. Seems that it would be ok and if I can get the servers I want then he can even make them all 2GB/s to improve the connection speeds. Now I just need to see if he'll do it to a couple of users too.

I sometimes wonder if I am too demanding.

Monsterous issues.

It occurs to be me that I never wrapped up the post concerning the issues I was having with my Mac unit. So time to do that.

The problem: My server's authentication to Active Directory kept failing, making it very very hard for all of our users to connect / stay connected to the server. The end result was that people were constantly disconnecting and not happy what-so-ever. I was unhappy as I kept having to reconnect the server to AD every 12 hours. PITA.

The fix: Take the server off AD, turn it in to a Open Directory only server. Once this was done the server ran for 132hours without issue before I rebooted this morning for software updates.

The Lesson: screw windows.

So basically I do plan on taking cross-platform integration if possible through Apple, but that is another $2400 USD so I need someone to pay for it first.

I will create a monster

So. I now have two, count em, two Apple Xserves at work. I'm shooting for another 3.

Why you might ask? Especially if you work with me.... The answer is simple. Solidify my position make myself invaluable and then threaten to quit and ask for a raise. MUHAHAHAAHAAA

No really, I am just anticipating that with Pro Tools 7.4 coming and supporting the ability to have nodes like Logic Pro does right now that we will need some processing power that can be stored in the server room and listed as mission critical.

I have recently created a small node farm for the Music Audio guys and they are loving having it. Infrastructure at EAC however deemed it NON mission critical due to the fact that it is running from desktop machines. No fail-over, no rack mount, no need to worry about it seems to be their view. Well now I am stepping this up a notch or two.



That's how I want to roll. It's really the only way to do it. Have them all be 8core 3.0Ghz machines with 4gb RAM each. An 80gb and a 500gb drive to do generates and like WHOA Robert is your mother's brother.

Now the only thing standing between me and it is..... Money. Well that and convincing Charles and Marcel. Those should be interesting sells too. However when you look at how pretty, functional and stylish the above is... you can't help wanting to purchase when you look at what I currently am working with...

4 G5's in a network closet is hardly how I would like to be supporting a group of audio specialists.

My brain 'splode

Fantastic weekend

Sebastian and I played all weekend long. It was a hella amount of fun.

We hit the park, we played soccer, we played in the sandbox, we wrestled fooled around playing hide and seek and generally had a great time. It was the best feeling of 'dad' that I've sported in a while.

We went to the mall and hit the playpit and rather than sit on the sidelines I got in there and chased him around, directed him to go through and over and under and around stuff and made him scream with glee as I jumped out from behind things. It was a lot better than my usual sitting on the sidelines and waiting for him to tire out. Although I was tired out by the time Kate came back from the first store.

We hit up a photo booth and got our pictures taken and even got a good one out of it! Then ran about and kicked balls around the Old Navy store. I think a few of the Old Navy employees were less than thrilled about it. Who cares?

We watched (well me and Kate - Seb was asleep) Hot Fuzz on the weekend too. Man that was literally the best cop movie I have seen.... like..... ever. The 'surprise' ending of the movie made it even better. We also watched most of Snatch... I needed to see it again, it had been too long and I had forgotten so much of it. Most because Sebastian woke up right near the end and came to sleep with us.

66 Days until the new baby comes along! I am starting to get that going on a holiday excitement although I'm not too sure that my brain is fully informed of what is actually going on. Perhaps it's like those sunglasses in Hitchhikers Guide where everything goes black at the slightest glimmer of danger. I'm using some old internal defense mechanism to stop myself from seeing what's really going on...

Well, if new baby is even half as much fun as Sebastian is then it should be all worth it cuz man this kid not only has the crazy, but he IS the crazy.

Let's give em something to blog about...

Like construction! NON STOP! These people across from us have been rebuilding their house all day everyday and it's driving me nuts. They are out there till 9 or 10pm with circular saws and air nailers. They work on the weekends and somedays have gone until 1:30am! Like seriously.... SHUT THE FUCK UP! I finally registered a complaint tonight although I am so furious about them still working right now I want to call the cops too. The lack of respect for the people that they are about to live around is disgusting. How do they expect to not be hated by everyone around them when they've pulled this shit for a solid month now?

GAH!

Why don't I post everyday?

Have you read this shit?!

On Saturday night I installed my new server and it went quite well until I said the magic words.... " that went wayyyy easier than I thought it would. Was it really that easy?" BAM! Screwed.

In case you didn't know... That = "Well at least it isn't raining" or the very popular "well at least it couldn't get any worse".

After that bomb.com there was about 4 hours of network troubleshooting with my infrastructure network guru and at least an hour and a half on the phone with apple. In the end we got it all figured out and the systems was running with a nice 2gb/s network configuration. Some throughput testing hit 952mbs/s which is twice as fast as anything else onsite. Sweetness.

So I reckon'd it all to be wrapped up at this point. I went to the beach today with Seb and got a call from the Oncall Tech asking me to take a look in to some stuff with the server.... After 9.5 hours of "looking in to it" a $700USD call to Apple and 5 hours with another of the infrastructure team we are still no closer to having the windows connection side of things working. Everything looks to be configured correctly but it will only try the authentication locally instead of heading upstream to the AD servers. It sucks. I feel really crappy about the whole thing. I wanted this to be a swift and seemless transition that had people singing my praises and thinking things like "hey that guy deserves more money". Instead I feel like I've let a lot of people down and that the powers that be are going to look at this with a "shouldn't have trusted him" sort of view. Which Sucks don't you know.

In the end I have to call Apple again tomorrow and spend even more time on the phone and deep in the server config to try and figure this out. With one Game 2 weeks from ship and one coming close to this needs to be fixed like tomorrow.

The stress from this had my ankle hurting like I had snapped the damn thing in two all day.

And hey, this doesn't even touch on how much I feel I let my family down today being gone all afternoon and night...

All these here testings

100 Posts Achieved

Ok I have not updated my blog in a long long long long long long time... Why? I don't know, no time to do it or no urge to do it or what have you....

There has been lots going on as usual. There has been lots of work to do both at work and at home although lately I haven't been at home to do any work. I have been in at work late nights and such. I have missed out on the daily routine and delved down deep in to this barely awake zombie styled march of death. It's been funny but not like.. ha ha funny.

I erased the configuration of my server I had so painstakingly build in one swift movement and it pretty much nullified all the work I had done in those late nights all at once. Kinda sucked. To look at the bright side of things at least I now know how to do it even better and in theory it should take much less time to do it the second time.

Sebastian and I spent pretty much all of last weekend together doing this and that. We hung out with Corey and Corey's Mom (Susan) at the beach, we went to the park and we even let Kate go out to Harry Potter and Dinner while we did pizza and a movie at home.

Boss man (at work) has been getting the shaft from everyone and everywhere... All the people who should be relying on him as the lead of the tech department are circumventing him and coming to me instead. I could see this really pissing me off if I was him and as such... well he is really pissed off, and depressed. I can't believe how shallow the people around my studio are that they would just give up on someone simply because they are changing studios. I mean the MAIN freaking reason he is leaving is because of them in the first place. Really makes you want to walk around and give some *heads up / wake up* SLAPS.

Coworkdude is apparently going through his own mini hell when it comes to home. He is moving towards a breakup with his wife. It has been coming along for a while from what he's told me but I had no idea. Granted I don't listen much at work, with everything else that is going on my time for personal stuff is limited I think. That or I'm so put off by his constant singing ( if you're reading this I really mean it - STOP SINGING!!! It drives me batty) that I am just uninterested when it comes to talking.

Regardless, Coworkdude and I work well together it seems and the whole department has been doing well. Bossman is outta there on September 5th and our new lead starts on June 20th. We met him already and he seems like a good guy, even if he did wear a tie and sweater vest to the interview... All things considered he seems like a good manager with good skills both in the realm of boss and technician. He'll have to lighten up a little though to fit in to the culture of sloth and indolence.

Skate has gotten some kick ass reviews all around the globe. E3 and GameDev have been pretty happy with it. I know I am, I have it at my desk on a 360 and I play it every time I am waiting at my desk for things to happen. Need for speeds Pro Street on the other hand is more fun to play until the crash than to actually play... I'm not a driving fan at all but people say it's awesome.

I personally have had some stress over work lately and have been feeling that I might be in a little over my head. People are relying on me to get the new Audio server in seamlessly and have it work like 50x better than the old one but.... I'm not sure how to do it... yet. Trying to balance the time I need for it + the time I need to do my regular work (tickets) and the time I need to spend doing self training + the time I need to spend at home is extremely difficult and not really working right now.

And now... I am going to lay down some justice on the kids next door.

and save my banjo you bastard!

So the last few weeks have been hellish at work.... there has been so much going on with both teams finaling and (as usual) audio woes. However, I am pleased that Apple replaced my Audio Server and we'll be getting a sparkling new Intel one. Lots of tickets coming in and I've been doing a bunch of work getting the test bed server up and running. When the new Intel Server comes in I will have a lot to do, getting the system setup and working the Samba config. It should be pretty interesting.

Luckily to take my (and all of our) minds of things we are going to go to folkfest at Jericho beach tomorrow. Which is going to rock ass. Utah Phillips is there and so are The Wailing Jennies. It's going to be great.

Holy crap what a week.

So I was on call all last week and my Audio server at work was super unstable and useless. It kept on crashing and I had to be there to support it. Which meant that I was there most nights till 1am or so. Plus there was the emergency pager which kept on ringing getting me to do work for both studios at all hours. Talk about suck city.

So currently my almost dead blackberry is off and in the bottom of the fruit bowl. I have not signed in to work and they don't have access to my cell number. So I have been free to enjoy the weekend.

Speaking of the weekend... I played with Sebastian all day yesterday while Kate went to her Dad's and did laundry while he is away. Then after naps and lunch we went out to Kristi, Jeff and Imani's House to have dinner and play. It was great, I miss those guys. We have not seen enough of them lately for sure.

Sebastian went to sleep in 15mins for his nap and maybe 20 for Sleep last night so that was sweet.... no long drawn out battles or anything.

Today, Kate is doing more laundry plus going shopping for groceries so I think that I am on Sebastian duty again. Which is cool.

Loads of work to do tomorrow morning when I get in and I have a test server environment ready to go for configuration as well.

Tomorrow is also my 30th Birthday. Kate's Mom and Dad got me 2 Tickets to Folk Fest!!!!! yayayaayayaa!!!! OH and my Apple Server test is tomorrow morning.

So I should probably hit the work with Sebastian and get my book because I should have/be studying for that.

gah... I never get away.

Also I am cooking something up because I am nearing my 100th Post.

Cursed Food Eater... right here.

I am. At least I'm pretty sure I am. OR I eat more than my share of packaged foods... I dunno. Either way... do you remember this??

I do... Vividly... now here it is again. The good people at CanGroFoods apparently CAN grow foods... however they just CAN't stop putting it in the can. It's just too good to stop!

So I pop the lid on my Peaches and Pear fruit cup and start chowing down but after a spoonful or two... I get the (not so creamy) topping.



Now as much as I like fruit... even I know not to eat the stalk.

So let's go up the "food" chain...

CanGroFoods => Del Monte => Texas Pacific Group

TPG is just a Global private Investment Firm that takes over everything... trying for JVC right now.

ugh.

Anyway seems another larger than life company has given me the shaft (or stalk as it were)

The Low Down

Big Bird and Disco Snuffy

You watched it... you can't unwatch it!



Plus a blast from my childhood.



I really need to stay the heck off of youtube.

Big Ups to Kate for the Original Pictures

Do androids dream humans? Do Humans dream technology?

Ok so officially I have become too invested with this whole server course. I have had nothing but Server implementation dreams since we got back from Seattle. I keep having this warm and fuzzy feelings when I awake from them too. That's usually followed by this feeling of wtf is wrong with me? I've felt this urge to go to work the last few days aswell. To check on it, to make sure everything is OK, to start implementing my changes... I mean really is my mind so devoid of 'normal' activity that the nerdiness has run it over?

I bet I was smiling in my sleep thinking about configuring Open Directory and Print services on systems.

I'm going to file this one in /users/shared/oddasfuck

I'm Mostly naked right now

So I won't Video blog.

I just wanted to put in a little something about our trip back from USA today.

We got to the border and the guard was a little, well.... he was on his 1,000,000,000,000,000 car of the day I am sure and seemingly was checking everyone quite well in front of us. When we got up to the stand we handed over our passports and

He asked "where we came from?."

Seattle.

He asked "how long we were gone for."

I said what?

He repeated.

5 Days.

He asked "the total value of goods that we were bringing back."

I said What?

He repeated.

I said (as I grabbed some receipts) uh... we got some food worth $45 and some soap for about $10... and

he handed our stuff back and said "move on"

As we left Kate was laughing at me... At how dumb I had been playing with the guard. I said to Kate

"Well, I guess, the best way to play dumb. Is to be dumb."

Seattle

Well, I have done almost nothing but eat and sleep and train down here... Kate and Sebastian have been all over the place and done a lot. They've been to Pike place and the Zoo and the University Village and other stuff and don't want to go home because they have been having a ball!

I have also been having a (much nerdier) ball. I got to attend this Mac OS X Server course and it has been quite eye opening. I realize there is so much going on with our Mac server or rather... so much NOT going on with the server that we are losing out...

anyways class is starting so I am out.

You tube was down....

Here it is... although from a day before

A Change in format?

Well I can't be the only one who has noticed how videos are taking over my blog. I am addicted to in-blog video. Embedded is the way to go!

Well in the I think that I am going to start Video blogging and posting it to... well to my blog.. where else!? I know I know I might lose 1 or 2 of the 3 people who read my blog by making them hear and see me instead of just reading my words and thinking what they want and forming the mental image of me they want but... I am a nerd first and foremost so technology wins over friends.... you'd think I would have learned this lesson a long time ago but no... no I have not.

So look forward dear crazy lonely lost readers, I know you got here because there was nothing else to do anywhere on the internet and you're still waiting for your porn to download... look forward to the face of me... tomorrow.

Great for men

and just plain scary is....

Prepare...

Prepare to laugh whatever part of you is loosest off.



and to compare (they sync PERFECTLY)....

you will have to wait until the Full length One gets to the theatre outside and the music starts before starting this real one as there seems to be a NO NO NO when it comes to the full length MJ one on youtube....

QUARIUM!!!

We went to the Aquarium today and got soaked as it was POURING down and we took the bus. We took it in to Stanley park and then walked over to the aquarium, by the time we got there we were already noticeably wet. It's still pouring out now but we are home and safe.

There was a period of time where Kate's purse rode the bus to and from Metrotown mall, luckily the driver had it and he returned it to Kate when he came back. We were waiting about at the stop for the specific bus to show up as Sebastian had been reading the bus number on the way down so we knew it off the top of our heads.

We had a nice picnic lunch there (at the bus stop) and enjoyed the fresh air of the park while waiting. Luckily the buses coming in to the park are all electric so there is low pollution.

Got the purse back and went back to the Aquarium to see the Whales. and Sea Otters

Then back on the bus and home again. Too bad we forgot the camera.

We're going to Disneyland...

Not really. Really we're just going to Seattle.

However this is the 6th year in a row where I have taken a company paid Summer vacation out of town. I'm getting really good at this.

Well it came about like this... I wanted to get Apple Server training so I could take the server essentials test and combine the certification with my ACHDS certification to become an ACTC (Apple Certified Technical Coordinator.) So I asked my group to get me in to the training course and was told no dice. There was no money in our training budget this year to pay the $2000USD for me to go take the course. Well, it got mentioned to the COO of MY studio (and we HAVE money - lots of it) and in a meeting he approved it.

Now I checked with Apple and they are not offering this course in western Canada until October or later so I asked if I could fly to Montreal to take it. No Dice. Montreal Jazz festival is on and it was WAYYY to pricey. I thought I was out of luck at this point but my COO suggested California or Seattle instead. SWEET! Well anyway... San Diego was an option but instead I opted for Driving to the Seattle course and dragging Kate and Seb along with me. So that's that... I get my training AND a holiday.

If only I could have gotten him to go for the one in Honolulu on my Birthday in July.... hahahaah

Images

War in the living room

Seems the man 'Faithless' may be losing sleep again but this time over a different stress. Great video, good song awful to think how long this war has been going on.

21 years of computing: Zero Advances in Productivy

A must read for anyone who needs the latest and greatest computer.

Me + 26 = yum

+26 Degrees that is.....

It is so OMG nice outside today (well for the last week) and it feels great (although almost too hot). We went to the Vancouver Landfill today for their open house day. We took a tour of the back 40 (the dump area) and saw all the current and future areas to be developed. The showed up that from the place they started the are going up 39 vertical metres before they stop using the area and the system is still available for another 32 years.

They showed up the falcons and eagles they use to keep away seagulls and the well system for drainage and gas collection for powering greenhouses and returning electricity to the grid. We got Veggie dogs from their free lunch and were facepainted and Sebastian even got to hang out in their big sandbox.

We had a great time there today. THEN we came home and had some lunch and filled up Sebastian's pool outside. He hopped on in and had at least two hours of fun till I noticed he was blue and brought him inside to warm up and watch sesame street.

Now we are going over to Brian and Shannon's to play some games and hang out for a little while. Should add even more fun to today.

People just won't believe me.

yell and you shall recieve?

Well I don't get angry much and I especially don't get vocal about it but I really got in to it with Purolator today. A laptop that I ordered was supposed to arrive on Monday and didn't... Puro says oh it'll be there by Friday. On Wednesday I see that it's on delivery and get excited... Nothing. I call them and they have address problems. Aparently Apple didn't put my suite number on the package and even though it says Andrew Forsyth - company name on it the driver who brought a bunch of other stuff up to here didn't think that it could go there. So anyway, I correct the address... Apples fault really. Puro gives me a confirmation number and says it'll get delivered tomorrow. So Thursday rolls round and no Puro guy and the system is still spouting off that it needs address confirmation. So I call in and ask WTF is going on?

Well the guy on the line says that the package didn't get the address correction and now that they had tried twice to deliver it that I would either have to go get it myself or pay $32 to get it delivered. This is when I flipped out and got ahold of someone who promised me everything would be ok... I mentioned how tempting it was to move all my business to Fed Ex and the package somehow got driven over to me.

So now, I have said Macbook and all is good. Kate is on the powerbook beside me blogging too which is kinda funny.

Now for the techno part

Here is some really cool stuff I was looking at today.



and if you haven't seen this already it's pretty cool too.

http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2007/04/16/intel_catwalks_concept_pc/

bloogin outside, oh yeah.

Well I am sitting outside, Sebastian is playing with trains, cars, trucks and boats in the sandbox beside me and Kate is taking a little nap before going out for dinner with her friend Shannon.

We had a baby ultrasound today and hoped to find out the sex of the new little one. Alas it did the same thing that Sebastian did and keep it's little legs shut tight and we couldn't tell. We saw the heart beat (and heard) and saw arms hands legs and feet as well as the Head. It was nice, I was very happy to see the little one in there and that everything was doing fine. I still get a girl vibe.

Who knows really, beans can sprout in many ways.

OPEN YOUR FUCKING EARS!!!!

Or as Sebastian likes to say just... fuckin earzzzz

So I messed this one up. yup. Said it out loud and now it's a favorite. bah.

Went to Spanish Banks beach today after work with Burritos and some chips n salsa. Had a nice time and was reminded YET again of why we moved here.

Doing Yoga now and really loving the refreshed feel my body has after the stretching, opefully I will be able to keep doing it as it has helped my body stress reduce. My mental stress has gone down a lot lately and I feel almost like someone who has given up a drug. My mind is clearer and I can think through problems easier, I feel more alive when I am at work or at home and my energy is up which is weird considering I am doing more active thing.... oh wait... now I get it. cool.

F9 where have you been all my life?

I have discovered what a joy the F9 key can bring me on a MAC. It's beautiful.

it's cold a blustery outside and I am wrapped up like a cinamon bun in my duvet writing this. It's a nice feeling being all warm and safe like this.

I am loving work. Loving it. Turning my blackberry off and leaving at 4 is the best thing ever. Who would have thought that going home on time could boost a persons morale so much?

Time Warped post

This is an insert for some pictures of a wonderful day trip we took to White Rock.

it's a go

I have had quite a day.

I started therapy. I went and saw Dr Benno today and had an interesting hour with him where we explored some of what has been bothering me. I was so apprehensive to go to this all day and spent most of my time awake thinking about what I would end up talking about. Turns out one of my biggest problems is work.

I also went and wrote my Apple Certified Help Desk Specialist test today and passed. woot! So I now have my level 1 certification with Apple. It's great, it's the first piece of formal education with a certification I have gotten since.... well. .... ever. First school since high school.

that's really all I had to say right now tho. so.....

What Doesn't Happen?

Well I am digging work in new ways lately. I have gotten back on top of the ticket queue and I am able to get other work done. My work ethic has improved and I am taking charge of situations to make the place work for me. Sometimes this involves circumventing my lead and sometimes not but either way it makes work a good place.

I found out today that I lost 9 hours of banked time because we just don't do that anymore. Well pissed off as I am about that I am kinda ok with it. I know that I helped people and I got recognition by those involved that I made that effort and people (I hope) will remember this down the road.

I am creating a document for training my coworker on MAC's and it was alot of fun to do the first part today. It looks pretty good and I think that it will help get the system running well for him. The more that he understands the easier it will be in the future when I want to move on or leave.

I am also taking charge of my work and getting things done before they need to be. this is letting me have the confidence that jobs will be completed on time and without stress because... well because they are done ahead of the deadline... and when things like today (a user asked for a new hires machine to be setup today and they don't start till wednesday) I was able to because I worked on that system last week. So yay. I got something done AND I get to be a hero to that user because their expectation of waiting another 2 days was given instant gratification. Woot~!

I mean really the easiest way to make people happy in a job like mine is to just over preform but be able to set the limits and say No when it needs to be said. The minute that people start to take advantage of the situation is when it needs to be shut down. As long as that relationship is maintained then I win.

Let's see how long that lasts.

Ahh sweetness

Today, Today, Today

We are moving today....

It's crazy... I got the place ripped apart... there is still tons of work to be done around here but until all the moveable stuff is out that door I can't even think of what needs to be done... lots around here for sale that needs to get moved out but right now is just in the way.

I think once we move all the stuff out of here then it will look almost empty and the feeling that there is a million things to do will subside. Really though... I am sure that the next 15 days we have to get shit done round here will be filled with stress... we even have to paint the place in the end. at least there is no carpet.

Ah well it'll all be worth it right? The new place is a 2 bedroom and Seb has been sleeping in the empty bedroom by himself the last few nights... He got up and came in to our bed (which was in the living room) both nights at about 2 / 3 am and neither of us even noticed him show up. So as long as we can start waking up and taking him back to his own room then we can start to enforce that he needs to sleep in there.

Should be fun fun fun. Moving truck should be here any minute so I am out.

OMG WTF BBQ

You heard me.

Why do you need an excue when there are so many reasons?

Well that's that.

I can not eat meat anymore.

I have read and watched some horrible yet mostly mild things over the last day and apparently I have been quite receptive because I can not even think about eating meat without feeling sick. Not over the taste or anything but over what the animals had to go through to get that meat on to my table.

I've always known. But it never really mattered. I never let myself believe that things were all that bad. That everything that people talked about and told me about could actually be allowed to happen in our world. Now I know. Now I have seen it and I am disgusted. Horribly disgusted with the way it all works.

I have never been for a 'cause' or anything, I have floated along on anti-war and ethical treatment but have never actually felt that it was right.

I used to have a Math teacher that said "you know it in your BONES" Of course he was talking about how you'd have to be retarded to not understand the basics of polygonal math or something but....

I know it in my BONES. If I was crammed in a feed lot, cage or pen... never allowed to be free, never allowed to just be what hundreds of years of built in instinct are telling me to be. Fed, Drugged jammed in a truck being scorched or frozen for 500 miles in the open air.... It wouldn't matter if I was a cow, a bird or a human... I'd still be scared out of my mind when I was hung upside down to have my throat cut.

And when the blade missed? Or didn't do it right? When I was dunked in to boiling water to rid me of my pesky feather or had my legs cut off and stomach split open while I was still alive?

fucking terrified.

I can't do it. Never again. Their suffering isn't worth my taste buds.

Just an additive.

Realistically it all boils down to sharing.

It is all about not segregating duties and sharing them instead. I did some laundry the other day, and it made me feel much much better about Kate doing laundry a few days later. She really just picked up where I had to leave off. I did some dishes, she had put some away. I had cleaned a diaper but not yet rinsed it and she rinsed it for me. She made dinner and I put toys away. I had never really seen life like this happening before my eyes… I just realized that as long as we are both helping out in whatever way we can the house runs smoothly and it’s clean.

Overall I want us to have a great place to live in and I would love it if we didn’t even have to think about the way its upkeep happens… if we just went about our days doing all the things we do and in the end of things the house was back together it would be perfect. Although, perfect never happens so we’ll have to just keep on trying.

Work work work…. What can I say about work that hasn’t been said?

Well, my MAC work has been heating up… the guys are piling on more and more issues and I am battling them the best I can. I think I am going to have to devote an hour or so a day to doing reading on the MAC forums and such so I can stay abreast of some of the more common issues. Also so I can learn the fixes of old issues… like I know now with XP and such. Really this is pretty tough… learning a whole new operating system, a whole new hardware system and on top of that learning all the tips, tricks and roundabouts on how to do things both competently and with ease.

I know that both will come with time but my main issue is that work expects me to take care of these problems ready or not.

I put together a quality email today that explained how I am going ahead with server maintenance on the Apple Audio server we have regardless of how much I know because it needs to be fixed. The issues need to be addressed and if I am not going to dive in headfirst and start to figure out the problems then who is? WHO I ask you, who?! No one. That’s who.

So sink or swim it’s up to me, I enlisted the help of one of our infrastructure guys and he is going to test some of the network issues and try to help out on the back end of things. I’m really glad, this is a big deal for the audio guys and I. Fingers Crossed here.

So I guess we’ll see where that ends up. On Friday and I take over my new luxury condo cube by the window and with the couch. YAY. Looking forward to that for sure. New Guy comes in to work a week Monday and I am excited about him being down here. He’s a great guy and I think that we will help each other out a lot.

Our Moving:

Well we are working towards a new place…. I am looking at a nice little house in a great spot for us… We view it on Sunday and with luck we can rent it out and move in ASAP (y’know, providing it’s not a hole) Fenced yard, 800sq feet, with 2 bdrms, kitchen, dinning room and living room. So with luck it’ll be nice and they’ll like us enough to hold it for a little while. Not likely in the market I live in but it’s worth a shot. Who knows maybe I can sell all my records and turntables, make $2500 and we’ll rent both places for a month. We’ve done it before that’s for sure. So again, fingers crossed here.

Ongoing - ongoes

Here I am writing an entry on my new Macbook on the train today, I have a lot on my mind. Helping out at home more, looking after my pregnant wife, taking care of my customers at work and keeping the peace between two guys I work with long enough to get something done.


Home life is troublesome lately. It’s not that Kate and I aren’t getting along, and it’s not that we are fighting a lot. It’s just the thing we fight over. I say thing because it seems to be a constant issue. It’s me. My amount of help around the house and the lack of stuff I do to make it a better place to live in. How I don’t take the same initiatives to do things around there that I did when Kate was pregnant with Sebastian and how I am lacking on the duties that I regularly take care of (eg: Dishes). Now while I protest any attack on me and dishes, since I am almost always consistent about doing them and although I let it slide on the weekends I rarely ever forget or don’t have time to do them in the morning. When I do miss them however it’s the end of the world.

I can’t really argue this point though. I know in my heart of hearts that I am wronging Kate in the way I treat our house. I never feel at home in apartments, I think that has a small something to do with it. It seems that when we are in a house of our own I am dynamite dan around the place but when we get in to an apartment I am mopey and lagging on the duties of Dad and Husband.

I sat down and had an indepth conversation with myself on the train on the way to work today and decided that I am going to take new initiatives to make a better life for myself and for Kate. I will try to do this consistently instead of just a few days worth and then lagging out again. I made myself a sheet that I am still working on to outline what I need to do and when I am going to do it. I won’t let time get in my way because I am setting aside certain sections of the day just to do these things. Like doing dishes between 7 and 8, making my lunch for the next day between 8 and 9 and so on. I really hope this helps me because I loathe daytimers and have a very hard time sticking to a schedule of events that isn’t when I begin and end work.

We’ll see though…. One of the things I am going to do is use this laptop to track my activities and the things I did both during the day and the nights before hand. I hope that this constant tool (that I also consider pretty cool to be using here at the back of the train) will help out significantly. We’ll see.

Now that I've posted it.... I've made food for the next few days for lunch so I do not spend money... is that a start?